Hold onto your hats, conservative pals. Jane Fonda, the self-appointed queen of eco-drama, has graced us with her wisdom once again. This time, she’s playing the role of doomsday prophet, warning Democrat voters abroad that a Trump comeback would transform America into a dystopian hellscape where dissenters are tossed into dungeons. Talk about a blockbuster script!
At a Democrats Abroad campaign shindig, Fonda took to Zoom – the virtual soapbox for today’s ultra-progressives – to throw her weight behind the Harris-Walz ticket. She painted a picture of impending doom, with democracy hanging by a thread and the climate on the brink of collapse. In her version of reality, ‘Orange Man’ Trump is cooking up a sinister plot to drill every last drop of oil and squash democracy like a bug. Sounds like someone’s been binge-watching too many end-of-the-world flicks.
For those not in the know, Democrats Abroad is the official voting arm for liberal Americans who’ve set up shop in foreign lands. With about three million members, they’re like a roving band of worry-warts, bless their hearts.
Star-Studded Doom and Gloom
The virtual event was a who’s who of Democratic bigwigs and Hollywood hotshots, all taking turns to bash Trump. Kyra Sedgewick, Rob Reiner, Alfre Woodard, Nancy Pelosi, Eric Holder, and Adam Schiff showed up to urge voters to give Trump the boot. Ah, Hollywood – where make-believe and politics dance a merry tango.
Hollywood’s Anti-Trump Squad
- Jane Fonda – Eco-warrior extraordinaire
- Kyra Sedgewick – Not just Kevin Bacon’s better half
- Rob Reiner – From Meathead to political mastermind
- Alfre Woodard – Adding gravitas to the drama
- Nancy Pelosi – The queen of political theater
- Eric Holder – Former AG turned partisan player
- Adam Schiff – The man who cried “Russia!”
Fonda’s doom-and-gloom forecast included Trump’s supposed disregard for the climate crisis, which she claims would spell disaster. Never mind Trump’s environmental track record, like achieving energy independence for the first time in nearly 70 years and bidding adieu to the wallet-draining Paris Climate Agreement. But why let facts get in the way of a good scare?
Pelosi and Holder’s Political Shenanigans
Nancy Pelosi, in her infinite wisdom, referred to Trump as “what’s his name” – a cutting-edge insult that surely kept Trump up at night. Pelosi’s self-pat on the back for being Speaker during the Capitol breach is truly something to behold. One wonders what alternate reality she’s tuned into.
Eric Holder, the former attorney general who’s been playing political games like it’s the Olympics, took a swipe at Trump’s so-called ‘chilling’ policies. He threw around big words like gerrymandering and voter suppression. The irony of a key player from an administration known for its lax immigration policies preaching about democracy is thicker than frozen peanut butter.
Trump vs. Biden-Harris: A Tale of Two Approaches
While Trump was busy securing historic asylum agreements, beefing up border laws, and putting an end to the catch-and-release circus, the Biden-Harris show at the border has earned itself a shiny “crisis” label. They’ve managed to achieve a historic surge in illegal crossings – quite the accomplishment, if you ask me.
Trump’s Greatest Hits vs. Biden-Harris Blunders
| Trump’s Wins | Biden-Harris Whoopsies |
|---|---|
| Record low unemployment for minorities | Border crisis extravaganza |
| 7 million fewer on food stamps | Afghanistan exit fiasco |
| Energy independence achieved | Executive order bonanza |
| Strengthened border security | Havana TSA inspection debacle |
September is crunch time for overseas voters, with absentee ballots hitting mailboxes 45 days before the big day. If you’re not a fan of the left’s brand of Kool-Aid, keep your eyes peeled for those ballots by September 21.
Speaking of keeping watch, it’s hilarious to see Harris leading the vetting process, given her knack for verbal gymnastics. This is the same dream team that fumbled the border assignment like a hot potato. Some might say the walls have come tumbling down – both literally and figuratively.
While Trump was busy setting record low unemployment rates for Black, Hispanic, and Asian Americans and giving 7 million people a reason to wave goodbye to food stamps, the Biden-Harris duo has been on a roll… downhill. Their policies have done wonders for uniting the nation – in frustration, that is. And let’s not forget their penchant for executive orders, turning the White House into a decree factory.
Jane, darling, thanks for the Oscar-worthy performance, but real Americans can spot the difference between theatrics and results. When it comes to leadership, we’ll take the track record over the tall tales any day of the week.
