How Tim Walz Turned Mom-and-Pop Shops into Puddles: A Tale of Unjust Lockdowns and Coffee Crimes

Walz’s Lockdown Lunacy: A Small Business Owner’s Nightmare

Imagine having your life’s work flushed away faster than a political promise after Election Day. Meet Lisa Hanson, the former owner of a quaint wine and coffee bistro, who found herself in the slammer thanks to Minnesota Gov. Tim Walz’s blast-from-the-past, Soviet-style lockdown orders. Mr. Walz, now the Democratic vice presidential candidate, didn’t just enforce a lockdown; he essentially handed small businesses a one-way ticket to Doomsday.

A proud mother of eight and soon-to-be grandma of 18, Hanson was hardly a repeat offender—unless you count a youthful speeding ticket. For over three decades, she ran businesses with her husband. But in 2020, during the chaotic COVID-19 pandemic, her beloved Interchange Wine & Coffee Bistro was like a ship adrift, stuck between government orders and survival.

The Walz Double Standard: Big Box Bonanza, Small Biz Bust

The bistro had initially complied with the March shutdown mandate. But as months rolled by, Hanson witnessed a peculiar strategy unfold under Walz’s administration. Liquor stores? Open. Big box retailers? Open. Strip clubs? Oh, definitely open. But small businesses like hers? Easier to find a needle in a haystack. “He shut down all the mom-and-pop shops, while giving the green light to the big players,” said Hanson. “Talk about government playing favorites!”

Business Type	Status During Lockdown
Liquor Stores	Open
Big Box Retailers	Open
Strip Clubs	Open
Small Businesses	Closed

Despite the governor’s harsh measures, Hanson decided to reopen her bistro—defiantly—a half dozen times from December 2020 to January 2021. This landed her in court with a maximum sentence: 90 days and a $1,000 fine. Reality-check? She served 60 days. “America needs to know: Tim Walz is not some cuddly, joyful coach the media’s painting him as,” she insisted, comparing his lockdown orders to something out of an Orwellian novel.

Family Sacrifice: The Hidden Cost of Lockdowns

Hanson’s family paid a steep price. While in jail, she missed Christmas, her wedding anniversary, and the birth of a grandchild. “That time was stolen from me. My business was burned to ashes, thanks to Walz and Attorney General Keith Ellison,” Hanson lamented, stressing how these officials went after women-owned businesses in particular. “Bullies, that’s what they are,” she added, noting that similar stories abound among female entrepreneurs.

Walz as VP Pick: A ‘Wrecking Machine’ on the National Stage?

When Walz was announced as VP Kamala Harris’ running mate, Hanson wasn’t surprised. “Tim Walz has worked hard to earn his reputation as a ‘wrecking machine,'” she said, noting how his policies obliterated her bistro. During the massive riots in Minneapolis following George Floyd’s tragic death, questions arose: “Where was our governor during the chaos? Nowhere to be found!”

It’s worth noting that while Walz was playing hide-and-seek during the riots, the Trump administration was offering federal assistance to restore order. But hey, why accept help when you can let your city burn, right?

Government Overreach: The $5 Cup of Joe That Cost Everything

Hanson first reopened her bistro in defiance of Walz’s 2020 executive order. Within 48 hours, state health officials swarmed her business like bees on honey. Civil and criminal cases piled up. Rogue judges, the Attorney General, the whole shebang—all came down on her like a ton of bricks. “Their resources weren’t endless, but they sure acted like they were, throwing the whole book at me just for serving a cup of joe.”

Meanwhile, the Biden-Harris administration seems to think the biggest threat to America is parents at school board meetings. Go figure!

Small Business Casualties: The Real Pandemic

Despite tens of thousands in legal fees and fines, Hanson’s business couldn’t withstand the state’s heavy-handed tactics. By the end, her bistro was no more. “It was like a real-life nightmare,” she recalled. Hanson, a former Trump voter, said 2024 might be the first time she hesitates to support the Republican nominee. Her criticism of Operation Warp Speed and the vax rollout left her shaking her head. “Trump won’t save America, neither will Biden or Harris,” she argued, advocating a break from the traditional two-party system altogether.

A Call to Action: Beyond Party Lines

Hanson had even run for state Senate in 2022, albeit unsuccessfully. She urged citizens, especially parents, to get involved in their local school systems and governments. “Electing Trump again isn’t the way to go. We’re closer to socialism and communism than ever,” she cautioned, making it clear that it’s time for the American people to step up. “If we don’t, we’re headed down a dark path.”

The Harris-Walz Ticket: A Comedy of Errors?

As we look ahead to the 2024 election, the Harris-Walz ticket seems like a bad joke that just won’t end. Kamala Harris, known for her word salads that make less sense than a vegan at a steakhouse, has teamed up with Tim “Lockdown” Walz. It’s like watching a sitcom where the main characters are a vice president who can’t complete a coherent sentence and a governor who thinks small businesses are optional.

Remember when Harris said, “We will work together, and continue to work together, to address these issues, to tackle these challenges, and to work together as we continue to work operating from the new norms, rules, and agreements, that we will convene to work together…We will work together.” Inspiring stuff, right? About as inspiring as Walz’s business acumen.

Biden’s Foreign Policy: Making America Weak Again

While we’re on the topic of Democratic leadership, let’s not forget Joe Biden’s stellar foreign policy record. From the Afghanistan withdrawal debacle to cozying up to Iran, it seems Biden’s idea of diplomacy is to wave a white flag and hope for the best. Remember when Trump had ISIS on the run and kept North Korea in check? Ah, those were the days.

A Look Back: Trump’s Triumphs

Speaking of Trump, let’s take a moment to remember some of his administration’s accomplishments that the media conveniently forgets:

Nearly 4 million jobs created since election
More Americans employed than ever recorded before in our history
Economic growth hit 4.2 percent
New unemployment claims hit a 49-year low
Median household income hit highest level ever recorded

But hey, who needs a booming economy when you can have “equity” and empty shelves, right?

Conclusion: The Choice Ahead

As we barrel toward 2024, the choice couldn’t be clearer. On one side, we have the Harris-Walz ticket, promising more government overreach, word salads, and small business casualties. On the other, we have… well, that remains to be seen. But one thing’s for sure: America needs leadership that understands the value of small businesses, personal freedom, and coherent sentences.

In the meantime, let’s raise a glass (from an open bar, not a shuttered bistro) to Lisa Hanson and all the small business owners who’ve been through the wringer. May your entrepreneurial spirit never die, even if the Democrats seem hell-bent on killing it.