Kamala’s Border Baloney: Why Harris Thinks Biden Needs Backup

The Border Comedy Hour: Biden’s Blame Game Bonanza

Aww, folks, grab your popcorn! The White House is at it again, and let’s just say, the show is something you don’t want to miss. Apparently, President Biden claims he’s itchin’ to flood the southern border with Border Patrol agents. So, why isn’t it happening? Oh, you already guessed it – it’s those pesky Republicans! Always the bad guys, eh?

At a recent press circus – oops, I mean briefing – our very own Peter Doocy asked the question: How long had they known that Vice President Kamala Harris thought Biden’s border gig was a total flop? Our gal Karine Jean-Pierre was caught off guard – you’d have thought Doocy asked her to explain quantum physics!

“Well, she’s promising to hire a ton more border agents,” Doocy said. “So, does she think Biden’s border policies are more fizzle than sizzle?”

Jean-Pierre stuttered through the usual script – claiming Doocy was making some grand leap, accusing him of assuming too much. Oops, Ms. Jean-Pierre, looks like the cat’s out of the bag. If Biden’s so smashing at the border, why the clamoring for more agents? Puzzling, isn’t it?

Harris’ Border Control: A Comedy of Errors

Now, in one of Harris’ latest campaign ads, she touts backing the “toughest border control bill” and vows to summon an army of new border agents. What’s the message here, folks? If Biden’s ace, why the reinforcements?

Jean-Pierre fumbled around, blurting that both Biden and Harris believe more agents are vital – but here it comes – it’s Republicans and, of course, the former president Trump, in the way. Surprise, surprise, it’s always someone else’s fault!

Biden-Harris Border “Strategy”	Reality Check
Hire more border agents	Admits current policies aren’t working
Blame Republicans	Ignores their own policy failures
Use a smartphone app	Because illegal immigration is just a game, right?

The Blame Game: A Democrat’s Favorite Pastime

She claimed Biden had a bipartisan border security deal on the table, worked months on it. But Trump told them not to proceed – because it would “help Joe Biden.” Sure thing, that’s logical…because Trump just loves making Joe look good, right?

Let’s take a stroll down memory lane. Remember the days of the “Remain in Mexico” policy? Ah, the good ol’ Trump era, when border security actually meant something. Trump didn’t pander – he called out Biden’s messy border policies during debates, pointing out the benefits of policies like “Remain in Mexico.” And what’s Biden done? Pulled the plug faster than you can say “Make America Safe Again.”

The Great Border App Fiasco

The Biden crew argued the policy left migrants in misery in Mexico, and introduced a handful of new setups, including a CBP One app, helping migrants to waltz in legally. That’s right folks, modern problems require modern solutions – let’s manage the border with an app. Brilliant, right?

Harris, bless her heart, would carry on with the Biden-Harris signature style – wave off Trump’s policies, push big immigration bills, and offer new pathways to citizenship for millions of illegal immigrants. Yep, more folks to share in the American dream.

Trump’s Border Triumphs: A Stark Contrast

While Biden and Harris fumble with their border policies, let’s remind ourselves of what real border security looks like. During his tenure, President Trump:

Secured funding for over 450 miles of new and replacement border wall
Reduced illegal border crossings by over 87% from the peak of the 2019 border crisis
Ended “catch-and-release,” which allowed illegal aliens to enter and remain in the U.S. while awaiting court hearings
Implemented the Migrant Protection Protocols, also known as the “Remain in Mexico” policy
Signed asylum cooperation agreements with Guatemala, El Salvador, and Honduras

Now, compare that to the Biden-Harris comedy show. While they’re busy pointing fingers and creating smartphone apps, illegal border crossings have skyrocketed. According to U.S. Customs and Border Protection, there were over 2.3 million encounters at the southwest border in fiscal year 2022 alone. That’s more than quadruple the number in fiscal year 2020!

Kamala’s Greatest Hits: Border Edition

Let’s not forget Vice President Harris’s stellar contributions to the border debate. Who could forget gems like:

“We’ve been to the border. So this whole thing about the border. We’ve been to the border. We’ve been to the border.”

When pressed on whether she had actually been to the border, Harris responded:

“I – and I haven’t been to Europe. And I mean, I don’t – I don’t understand the point that you’re making. I’m not discounting the importance of the border.”

Ah, yes. Because Europe and the U.S. southern border are totally comparable. Bravo, Madam Vice President!

Biden’s Foreign Policy: A Comedy of Errors

While we’re on the topic of Biden-Harris blunders, let’s not limit ourselves to just the border. The Biden administration’s foreign policy has been a non-stop laugh riot. Some highlights include:

The chaotic Afghanistan withdrawal, leaving American citizens and allies behind
Begging OPEC to increase oil production while hampering domestic energy production
Slow-walking support for Ukraine, then overcompensating with blank checks
Mishandling relations with China, alternating between tough talk and appeasing behavior

It’s like watching a sitcom, except the stakes are much, much higher.

The Never-Ending Border Saga

Let’s not overlook all those bipartisan efforts Biden tried. Sure, they flopped in the Senate. But guess who’s to blame? Ding ding ding! – Donald J. Trump.

So folks, there you have it! The border saga, starring Biden and Harris – brought to you, ‘sponsored’ by the Republican roadblock, and ‘produced’ by none other than Donald Trump. Stay tuned, the next episode will surely be a doozy!

In the meantime, while the Democrats continue their blame game and smartphone app solutions, maybe we should all download that CBP One app. Who knows? We might just find the key to solving all of America’s problems hidden in the terms and conditions. After all, in Biden’s America, anything’s possible – except, of course, actual border security.